Percy Sucks at Poker
by remembertheginger
Summary: Percy is /not/ good at poker. One-shot.


**A/N: :3 Hiiii. I feel so bad, I haven't updated for so long… in replacement of an update, you guys get this (hopefully) funny oneshot. Enjoy! I don't own anything you might recognize. Except the plot.**

Percy silently cursed himself. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Annabeth glared at him. "Next time, stay away from poker. You're really bad at it."

At any other time, this would have been funny. However, with Percy wilting under Annabeth's murderous stare, the situation was far from it.

Annabeth pursed her lips in a pout. "How did you even get into this mess, Seaweed Brain? You never told me."

Percy glanced at Octavian, asking silently for permission to explain. Octavian sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. "If you must," he responded extravagantly.

Percy gave a little eye roll of his own. "It all started when Leo tried to teach me poker…"

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Leo moaned. "You're hopeless."

Percy frowned. "It's not _my_ fault my mom never taught me poker."

"Ugh. You're not very good, so I wouldn't recommend playing for anything."

So Percy challenged Hazel to a gold, old-fashioned game of poker, playing for nothing. Hazel accepted with a grin; "I learned to play this when I was eight. You're going down." They played, and Percy lost. He asked Hazel for a rematch; this time, with a straight, he won.

"I won!" Percy danced around the room, the cards that had given him his victory in hand. "I won!" The thought made his confidence blossom. Now, normally, Percy wouldn't have let this make him cocky. But winning for the first time in a week- well, who wouldn't feel headstrong in his shoes?

The next thing he did, though, made Hazel question his sanity.

He slid into a seat across from Octavian and said, "One fair game of poker. I win, you stop harping on me and my friends."

Octavian thought for a moment, devising his own terms. "And if I win," he replied innocently, "You will be my… assistant… for a week."

Percy nodded to the terms and held out his hand. Octavian shook it and let Percy shuffle the deck. Octavian cut it, and Percy dealt the cards. By now, a few onlookers had gathered. Percy managed to keep a straight face as he glanced at his cards and inwardly groaned. There was literally _nothing_ he could do with his cards. He looked up at Octavian, whose expression was deadpan. Percy was hoping he could bluff it out. "Ten chips."

"Raise it five." Octavian replied blankly.

"Take your five and raise it fifteen."

Octavian blinked, swallowed hard, and said, "I call you." He laid out his cards: there lay a perfect 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 of hearts.

Percy cursed and laid out his useless cards. Leo winced in sympathy. "Bad luck, man."

Octavian smirked. "I hold you to your word, Perseus Jackson."

Percy sincerely didn't want to do this, but he had to prove he was as good as his word. "Fine, Octavian. Your assistant for a week."

Octavian grinned at Percy's easy submission. "Your first order is to find good stuffed animals for the augury."

Percy gritted his teeth. "How many?" He asked, trying to stay calm.

"Oh, as many as you can find." Octavian said dismissively. "When your arms get full, dump them in Jupiter's temple. Work until… ten tonight, I think?"

The son of Poseidon groaned. Normally, he didn't mind charity, but seven hours was a little much for him. Grudgingly, he set off to knock on barrack doors and homes of retired demigods.

**Seven hours later**

Percy collapsed on his bunk.

"Stay away from Annabeth," Frank advised. "She's not happy."

Percy shot straight up. "Dear gods! I missed my date with her!"

"Yeah, she's taking her anger out on the training dummies," Frank winced for the dummies. "Half are already demolished."

"I've got to go apologize!" Percy rushed out the door.

Frank sighed. "She's gonna murder you," he called regretfully.

"Don't care!" Percy called back. He sprinted to the Field of Mars, where the training coliseum was. Hand on Riptide, he walked in.

Annabeth was a blur among the dummies, whirling and slashing and cursing in Greek all the while. Percy wasn't sure after being around Latin for so long, but he thought he caught _Idiot, can't even remember his own head, forgetful crow_ and a few other words of choice.

"Annabeth!" He called.

Annabeth turned and ran towards him. She stopped a foot away from him and narrowed her eyes. "Well, Perseus," Percy winced at this. "You have a lot to explain."

"Annabeth, can I start with I am so, so sorry?" Percy tried.

"You can. Won't help."

"Annabeth, I had to do charity work for Octavian!" Percy protested. "I would never purposely miss a date with you!" he tried to step in to hug her, but she pushed him away.

"Mm-hm. Are you sure you weren't off with Reyna, or someone like that?" Annabeth said coldly.

"Annabeth, please!" Percy pleaded. "Here, I'll take you to Octavian to prove it!"

He grabbed her hand and marched her to Jupiter's temple. "Octavian!" he called. "Where are you?"

Octavian came out wearing no shirt and teddy bear boxers. Percy turned away. "Oh gods. Go put on a shirt and pants!"

Octavian came back a few minutes later, fully clothed. "Yes?" he raised an eyebrow.

Annabeth stepped forward. "Did you really have Percy doing charity work?" she asked skeptically.

"I had him collecting stuffed animals since three this afternoon." Octavian nodded. "He wasn't allowed off until ten."

Percy then realized how hungry he was. "Uh, Annabeth, do you believe me now?"

She sighed. "I guess." She suddenly turned angry. "Next time, stay away from poker. You're really bad at it."

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"And…?" Annabeth prompted.

"I lost a bet with Octavian." Percy simplified.

Annabeth shook her head. "Games of chance were never your thing."

Octavian nodded. "Especially poker. I saw you play Hazel," he explained.

Percy smiled winningly. "Am I not your assistant anymore, then?"

Octavian laughed. "Of course you still are! I haven't had this much fun since I arrived here!"


End file.
